Cryptcl: The San Francisco Perspective

San Francisco the beacon on the progressive hill is starting to show hypocrisy and idiocy. Ah San Francisco, where every nut is a little bit fruity, and every fruit is a little bit nutty. Recently a number of trends have started to be legislated regarding what people are allowed to eat and drink. If not for Gavin Newsome’s veto, the only thing he’s ever done that I agree with, Happy Meals would be illegal in San Francisco. Similar banning attempts at soft drinks will be expected. If any prohibition bills pass that will be the start of one of the stupidest legislation trends in America. You see when asked why soft drinks should be banned, the elitist legislators state that it is unhealthy and causes obesity. When soft drinkers say “well we enjoy it” they’re told  “people enjoy cocaine too”.

Not a very complete argument, but lets take a stroll down the road of what people like that is not good for them. Let’s see there’s ice cream, cake, candy, and donuts. There’s roast beef, potatoes, pasta, and fried chicken, with french fries, beignets, and lollipops for lickin’. There’s tobacco for cigarettes, cigars, pipes, and chew. There is alcohol for drinkin’, very dangerous too. We couldn’t eat pumpkin pie, fruit strips, or slushees. No pork, avacados, whole milk, or white bread. There’s so much we can’t have it causes your head to spin. I’m mature and rational and can decide what to eat. But legislators know better, those elitists in powerful seats. In fancy bistros that elitists frequent, the Creme Bruelle, Creme Caramel, and Black Forest cake must all be gone too. No hollandaise, pastry creme, petite fours, or whipped cream. Might as well ban everything on a French menu, they use lots of butter ya’ know.

Elitists think they have the superior intellect to decide which substances to ban. In fact there is not a single substance that if you consume too much will not make you obese and unhealthy. But the elitists will decide what should be allowed for the unwashed masses. I can’t think of any substance that won’t make you unhealthy and obese if misused. I wonder if the elites can name just one.

Wait I’ve found one ! Marijuana legalization is “cause celebre” in San Francisco among the elites. Let’s legalize it since everyone likes it. No problem smoking to your hearts content. Marijuana has the same effect on lungs that cigarettes do, plus it creates stoners at play, stoners at work, stoners that drive, stoners spaced out, and stoners as jerks. Children will have earlier access to pot because the city is flooded with it, and hard core drug users will keep their illegal drug of choice because marijuana doesn’t satisfy their needs. It doesn’t get them high. We can have a whole city full of stoners, but remember there are no munchie treats to eat as they’ve all been banned.

So that’s the plan in San Francisco, the progressive beacon on the hill. What’s allowed and not allowed is rather confusing. It is OK in the midday of an Up Your Alley Street Festival to drink urine and pee on each other, but you are not allowed to have a pepsi or a happy meal because they aren’t good for you. Now doesn’t that make perfect sense.